parenting girls

In honor of my Mama’s mid-life political revolution and her participation in the Women’s March on Washington, I (Brynn) have compiled a list of my favorite awesome-girl books. Some of these characters are brave, others are wicked smart. Some are insanely creative, while others are simply willing to speak their minds. All of them are my heroes and paint a vivid picture of what a little girl like me might aspire to someday.

The books are arranged from least to most complex.

Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmans: Madeline is certainly a classic, and every girl should have it on her shelf. Madeline is fearless in the face of mice, lions, her classmates, her headmistress, and surgery. Her classmates all want to be like her, and so do I!

Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon by Patty Lovell, illustrated by David Catrow: Molly Lou Melon is short. REALLY short. And she has buck teeth. REALLY big buck teeth. And her voice sounds “like a bullfrog being squeezed by a boa constrictor.” Squeezed REALLY tightly. Fortunately, Molly Lou Melon has an awesome grandma who gives her outstanding advice to always be loud and proud and confident and the world will love her. When Molly Lou Melon moves to a new school and a bully teases her, her grandma’s advice is put to the test in the funniest of ways. Great illustrations and snappy text make this book hilarious.

Mud Puddle by Robert Munsch, illustrated by Dusan Petricic: Both my brother and I are huge fans of Robert Munsch’s stories, and while all of his stories have spunky child heroes, this story and the next are particular favorites of ours. In Mud Puddle, Jule Ann is in a predicament: every time she ventures outside, she is trounced by a mud puddle. She tries various ways to outsmart the villainous mud puddle, but at one point, she is crouched by the back door, too afraid to even stick her nose out. That’s when she has a brilliant idea: soap! A funny, fabulous book that both my brother and I have asked our parents to read time and time again.

The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch, illustrated by Michael Martchenko: This book is another Munsch classic. The awesome heroine, Elizabeth, confronts and outsmarts a castle-burning, boyfriend-stealing dragon in nothing but a paper bag. But when she rescues said boyfriend, he doesn’t even thank her. Instead, he criticizes her looks, so she gives him the boot and goes skipping off into the sunset by herself. This final illustration has become the iconic seal for all of Robert Munsch’s classic stories. My mom always laughs out loud at the very last line when Elizabeth tells Prince Ronald, “but you are a bum.” Love it!

My Name is Not Isabella by Jennifer Fosberry, illustrated by Mike Litwin: This book functions more as a history lesson than a traditional children’s story. The main character, Isabella, repeats the phrase, “My name is not _____. My name is ______.” And she substitutes names of influential women in history. Each woman is described in a few words, but there are no real details about the women until the brief biographies at end of the book. I like this book because it introduces me to important female figures through the eyes of a young girl like me.

Ladybug Girl by David Soman and Jacky Davis: Ladybug Girl is an awesome character, and these books are some of my very favorite. Ladybug Girl dresses in a tutu and ladybug wings, but she is also imaginative, brave, adventurous, friendly, and helpful. These books show that girls can wear tutus and still be amazing at the same time–just like me! The illustrations are fabulous, too!

Rosie Revere, Engineer by Andrea Beaty, illustrated by David Roberts: Books about girls who do cool things are at the top of my list, and this book is one of the best. Rosie loves to create gizmos and gadgets in the middle of the night when no one can see and make fun of her attempts. One day, her great, great aunt Rose comes to visit. She gives Rosie an idea that will not let her be, so in the middle of a sleepless night, Rosie builds her first flying machine for her aunt. It crashes, but before it does, it flies…just a little. When Rosie wants to give up and never try again, her aunt tells her that you never truly fail, unless you quit. Great message, great premise, great character, great illustrations!

The Red Wolf by Margaret Shannon: Both my brother and I like this book. He actually read it to me the other night! Roselupin is a princess who is kept locked up in a tall, stony tower by her father, the king. He doesn’t want her to be hurt by the outside world, so he keeps her completely separate from it. One day, a mysterious box appears for Roselupin’s birthday. In it are balls of yarn along with a note that says, “Knit what you want.” So she does. She knits a red wolf suit, whispers some magic words, and “poof!” she transforms into a giant red wolf. This first taste of freedom is only temporary, however, as she accidentally transforms back into a girl and her father locks her up again. That night, though, Roselupin hits upon a more permanent solution…and wins her freedom for good. A great story of empowerment and clever thinking.

Willow by Denise Brennan-Nelson, illustrated by Rosemarie Brennan: Willow is a girl who loves art. When she runs into an art teacher who does not appreciate her purple trees and crazy snowpeople, she doesn’t get mad and she doesn’t get sad. Instead, she gifts her teacher with her favorite art book that is chock full of art that defies reality. Her teacher has a turn of heart, and Willow’s gentle insistence that the world can be seen in many different ways is an inspiration in a world that is sometimes depressingly black and white. Willow is my art-hero!

Bloom by Doreen Cronin, illustrated by David Small: This book is the longest and most complex picture book on the list, and it is likely more appropriate for children who are 4-5 years old. Bloom tells the story of kingdom made of glass that has been built up with the help of a fairy called Bloom. The people of the kingdom soon forget that the fairy helped them, and they shoo her away. As soon as the kingdom begins to crumble, however, they are desperate for her help again. The King and Queen both visit her, but when Bloom lays a bucket of mud at their feet and claims that it is the solution, they both recoil and run away. Finally, they decide to send someone “ordinary,” a small girl called Genevieve, to coax the fairy into helping them. When the fairy lays the bucket of mud at her feet, she hems and haws for awhile before deciding to give it a shot. Bloom then teaches Genevieve to make bricks, out of which they build a house. She takes her knowledge back with her and shows her King and Queen how to rebuild the kingdom. Genevieve comes to realize that she has enormous power and that there is no such thing as an ordinary girl. A powerful message for all girls to internalize.

Pinky Dinky Doo by Jim Jinkins: Pinky Dinky Doo is an amazing girl with a crazy imagination. In this series, she makes up all kinds of outlandish, creative stories for her little brother. The stories contain multiple choice questions, search and finds, and matching pages. The illustrations are pretty neat, with photograph backgrounds of a generic house overlaid with cartoon figures, and they help to underscore the main message of the series: anyone, including the reader, can create stories, too.

Girls Rock! Happy Reading!

-Brynn (age 2.5)

Clicking on the pictures of the books will take you to Amazon.com. If you purchase a book, a small portion of the sale comes back to me. I, in turn, will donate profit back to a children’s literacy effort in my area. Thank you!

So, my husband and I ~~are expecting a baby girl any day now~~ now have a baby girl (Brynn!). To be frank, when I first found out that this baby was going to be a girl, I was scared shitless.

Sure, I’m female, but as anyone who knows me will attest, I’m not exactly normal, and the thought of raising a girl in this day and age seemed like a Herculean task. So, I did what I always do when I don’t know what to do: I started reading. I read The Feminine Mystique, Mighty Be Our Powers, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Rescuing Girlhood, and Pink Brain Blue Brain. I read blog articles, sought out girl-power websites, and perused newspaper op-eds. I talked to other moms and dads of girls. Next to none of it helped. In fact, the picture seemed even bleaker than before. Mass marketing, pigeon-holed pink and purple clothing, insidious commercials, Disney princesses, risque clothing for first graders?! How do I raise a girl in such a gender-specific world? At last, I gave up reading.

And I thought, instead. I thought about all of the little girls that I know. Even with a small sample size, I know girls who climb better than boys, who are more physical than boys, who love cars and trains, and who still wear pink. I thought about the little boys that I know. I know boys who read better than girls, who speak better than girls, who have tea parties with their grandmas, and who still love cars and trains. I also thought about all of the confident, self-possessed, intelligent young women and men that I met in my eight years of teaching. Young women and men who bucked the stereotypes and pressures of high school cliques and were purely and simply their own people, true to their ideals and their goals for themselves.

In the end, I took to heart the two bits of advice that I could glean from all of the reading and talking and thinking that I did.

First, every child is unique. The most obvious epiphany ever, right? Even my own son Luke is not like any other boy we know, so why would I expect to think of my daughter any differently? She will be unique. Her own person with her own agenda, just as Luke is. Following her lead will be my joy and privilege, just as it has been with Luke.

Second, talk. The idea that open communication is the key to, well, pretty much everything. If I talk to my daughter about the shows she watches, the clothing she wears, the idols she adores, then I have the chance to help her become a critical consumer of the world. And teaching her (heck, both her and Luke) to think instead of just blindly follow is, I believe, my most important job as a parent.

I never thought I’d say this, and I know the people who know me well are going to laugh at me, but for maybe the first time in my life, I’ve decided to keep it simple. Raising a child is difficult enough as it is, right?

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